On Another Med, A Growing Family, & U Gotta Remember the "Festables"!!

The doctors put me on another medicine this week, one that helps my heart function, this fact bugs me...I am not sure why it bugs me so much...Maybe it's another thing to remember...maybe it's another sign that I am not as healthy as I like to think I am. I hate that I have to worry about these meds... and if I were the only one in my life I had to worry about I may not be as good as I am about taking them.
But you know what?? I have you and your dad to live for... I take the medicines 2x a day ( all 7 of them total) because I know they sustain my life... When I remember at night while I lay in bed that I forgot to take the last 2 pills it is the thought of you and your lovely energy that makes me get up and take them...SO I can have breath the next day... So I can run with you, because that is what I live for! Well... there is one more thing... I want to see Natie's twins grow up and you have two cousins you can play with... That's right Natie is pregnant (one would be glorious enough right?!) with twins (OH MY GOSH MAGNIFICENT!!!!!)

Isn't that exciting???? I know you have no idea what this means right now but I promise this is exciting! My cousins were the best things in life at times growing up... they were like my big protective brother <Andrew> my closest confidant <Emily> and the ones that would know just how weird that "weird uncle" really could be <Rachel and Ben>  to name a few awesome things that cousins can be. They can be better than siblings because you don't have to live with them <and in turn fight or get on each other's nerves> and better than friends because you can commiserate together about just how crazy this thing called family can be. YUP! My hope for you is that these two little beans become some of your closest friends and relatives!! 

Okay, so just one more thing to talk about....Something that makes me giggle every Saturday... Apparently it is now almost ritualistic that you spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house Friday night and Saturday Day we go to a "Festable"  yes that's right a "festable" what normal people would call a Festival... it doesn't really matter what it is just as long as it is outside and has a bounce house.....if they have hairspray that will color your amazingly blonde hair you are even more for it!! :-) CHECK THIS OUT....

Orange <currently your favorite color> and blue pokadotted hair!! We must have gone to 8 festivals this summer and fall...mostly in the fall! I think Grandma had just as much fun as you do at these events... but lets just say... Mommy is growing weary of standing near the entrance of a bounce house as you go in....bounce for 5 min and come out because the people tell you that you must take turns.....and 1 turn later you are back in it.... you do this over and over for as long as we let you...usually about 25 to 30 times.... It's fun to see you enjoy yourself...even if I should be doing some cleaning at home <that can always be done a different day!!>. 

Alright I think that's all I have for this round of random ramblings!!!!!

I love you Gavin, I'll love you forever and I'll never let you go!

~Mom, Mum, Mommy, Momma or whatever you want to call me! :-* 

You Are Perfect to Me!

Gavin,

I read these Lyrics and I related to them so much they reflect my feelings for you. 

I love you so much and hope that you never ever ever feel like your less than perfect in your parent's eyes.

I hope you always feel like 

Your mother loves you!

Your father loves you!

but most of all I hope you always know

you are a perfect blessing from God!

And we thank Him everyday

for you!

<3 Always,

Mom!!

P.S.~ if you read this and can get pink's music video for this song online, look up the clean version it will show you why I feel the way I do about this song! 

F**kin Perfect

By Pink

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!
You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that..?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!
You're perfect, you're perfect to me!

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfectPretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!

There are No Words...

There are no words to explain my love for you!

There is only the twinkle in my eye.

Watching you grow,

Watching you learn,

Watching you play,

Do you see my pride in my eyes?

Do you see the love of your mother?

There are no words to explain my love.

There is only a kiss on your forehead,

A tight hug that takes your breath away!

You are my son, that's all you need to be.

I will love you forever!

Protect you in all ways.

Pray for you eternally.

 

There are no words to explain my love.

I hope you see my actions and know

You are my son,

You are my Pride and Joy,

You are Gavin!



We've come a long long way kid....

See the biggest cell in the middle there....yeeah i have reason to believe that was you.. as your cells split and created you... this is the closest to conseption we have and you know what? who else can say they have a picture of the zygote that used to be them?

Why do we have this picture??? well that is a story in and of it's self... a story that actually is blogged about in a blog about you.... http://www.salsersbabystory.blogspot.com/ 

At the point in time that I am writing this you are 2 months away from turning 3 years old....

YOU ARE HUGE...no seriously you are up to my belly button and weigh close to 45 lbs... 

a long ways from the picture above..

Here are a few things I don't want to forget about age 2...

I love watching you grow and learn...

I love your snotty little kisses

and your choice of words like "leave-es".

I love that you call me mommy but sometimes you call me "Rebekah" because daddy does

I love that you're almost potty trained, but more so that you refuse to go to the potty sitting foward!

Your imagination is gRoWiNg daily.

You love to show me that you killed the monsters or bad guys for me....

or with me!!

Alright I will write more but for now i got to go to bed!!

"Good night my love...I love you so!!"

"I'll Love You Forever..."

Dearest Gavin,

I write this blog for you. So that you may know me if something were to happen to me and God forbid I pass away before you can truely remember me. I write this so you can at least read this blog and know my thoughts about you in my words. In my writing (well...okay typing). As you probably already know I was born with severe heart defect and I have had a lot of health issues that i fear will probably cut my life shorter than I would like. I have been in and out of the hospital several times for several things..It was durring one of the times i was in the hospital (for congestive heart failure) that your grandma (my mom) said this to me; "You know I lost my dad unexpectedly when i was very young,  and he never wrote us anything to remember him by, I think it would be best to either write journals, or type things for Gavin to remember you if you were to ever pass away suddenly". I told her that I had been thinking about doing that and that I would start something for you...

SO, for my very first post I chose to tell you....

"I'll love you forever and I'll never let you go!" 

There may be things you don't understand about me or why I do things the way I do... However there is one thing I hope you will always know... I'll love you forever, and i'll never let you go!

I know I say this in over abudance and it may just sound like the same words you heard every night as I put you down to sleep but it has so much meaning to me... I say it because it was said to me when I was little and i think it is imporant that you know your parents love you and want you.  I say it every night because I want you to know no matter  who you turn out to be you will be loved and supported. I say it because even on the hardest days you will be loved... always, in all ways!

It's as simple and as complicated as that!